


Malevolence

by SnowMynx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Megstiel - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Not decided yet - Freeform, Not sure how this will go, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possible triggers for some people, Violence, possible happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-13 08:44:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4515417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowMynx/pseuds/SnowMynx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with betrayal, and seeking revenge. But sometimes revenge is a dish best served slowly. </p>
<p>What happens when Cas gives up everything for the perfect life, only to leave it all behind. Mistakes are made, things get dark, but all with a side serving of smut, for all you -Stiel shippers out there. </p>
<p>I've got the first few chapters drafted, so will be editing and uploading when I can, but I'm undecided as to where this story will go, so the rating may change over time, aswill the tags etc. </p>
<p>And as always, feedback is appreciated, since this is my first posting online, and I have no beta's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

“And now we wait.” Castiel announces, while testing the bindings around Annas’ wrists. She’s covered in blood, beaten and swollen, currently unconscious and secured to a chair. There is little chance that she will gain the ability to escape in her condition, but then again, she put up a fight getting here. 

“So Clarence, you gonna tell me what this is about? I mean, you know I got no issues torturing these petty little beings, and if it grinds Deans gears then I’m more than game. But c’mon, what’s the deal?”

Castiel looks at Meg and smiles weakly. She’s always been good to him, maybe the only real friend he’s ever had. At least she has no hidden agenda. What you see is what you get, and she make no attempt to hide whatever it is that she wants. She hasn't changed much in the years they have been apart; still rocking the leather get up, which even he has to admit flatters her body in all the right ways. He turns and looks out of the high window of the basement.

“He needs to know what it’s like, Meg. Dean and I, we had something special, unique. A profound bond. It took years for him to realize the extent of it, and how it changed me, and us. Heaven was finally at peace, balance restored to the earth. I mean who knew Gabriel and Crowley could come to such an agreement?

“So things were going well, at first. Dean, Sam, and I were staying at the bunker, trying to adjust to the ‘apple-pie life’, as they called it. With no pressure to save the world from every threat, Dean and I became close. He finally understood the depth of the bond we share, and after what seemed an eternity, gave in to it.” Castiel turned and moved toward Meg, the resentment evident in his eyes.

“We were happy. Sam, not so much. Apparently things between us became too intense for him to be around, so he left to back to college. I don’t blame him. He can finally finish his studies without interruption, and do whatever it is he wishes with his life.” By the time he had finished talking, Castiel was next to Meg, leaning on the pillar beside her. 

Meg looked towards him, he was staring into space, seemingly deep in thought. It was obvious that this wasn't something he liked talking about, if he ever had before today, and he made no attempt to continue.

“So what did the jackass do to screw things up so bad? I mean it’s been what, 3 years since the Trickster took ever Heaven.” She feigns anger, but has genuine curiosity in her voice.

Castiel breaks out of his trance and turns his head toward Anna.

“She happened. I gave up everything for Dean, my entire being, so we could live our lives together, grow old and senile together. We were engaged to be wed, even had everything planned out. We were in love, or at least I was.” There was a note of pain to his voice, as he looks to ground. He pushed himself off the pillar as he continued.

“Then she happened to roll through town. She was, make that IS, human, forced to fall and live life on earth as punishment for her actions. We took sympathy on her; took her in and cared for her. It seems it wasn’t just learning to be human again that she had planned. Dean and her became close, and she succeeded in seducing him. I’ve no idea how long they’d been ‘going at it’ as they say, before I found them.” By this point Cas was pacing the room, so Meg grabs hold of his shoulder. He stops to look at her, brief shock fading from his face. Her eyes were filled with sincerity, her face fuming with aggression.

“I left that day, didn’t need to wait for an explanation. I had given up everything for him, and it obviously meant nothing. That was a year ago this evening. What he doesn’t understand though, is that I have watched over humanity for centuries. Even without my Grace, I can destroy a person.” He looks across to Anna who was beginning to wake.

“That ass doesn’t know what he’s lost Cas, but don’t you worry your pretty little head. He will get what’s coming to him.” Meg whispers, while wrapping her arms around Castiel’s waist, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’ll make sure of it. So how will you get him here? I know the plan, I just don’t wanna be waiting around for this dick all night.”

Cas turns to face Meg, placing one hand on her hip, the other stroking down her cheek. 

“I left him a note telling him exactly where she will be, so knowing him, we shouldn’t have long to wait.” Meg grins deviously up at him, earning a smile and raised eyebrow from Cas. “So what to do while we wait?” 

Meg pushes Castiel backwards into the pillar, a smirk plastering his face. “Oh I’m sure we can find something.”

She walks over to him, putting extra effort into swaying her hips, know that Castiel will always be an ass guy. Placing a finger on his lips, she motions towards Anna, and within seconds, she’s out cold again. Returning her attention to the specimen in front of her, she slips her hands across his shoulders, dropping his beloved trenchcoat to the floor. Cas goes to speak, but a firm look from her stops him in his tracks. 

Loosening the tie around his neck, she slips over his head, and around her throat, starting to work on his shirt buttons. As she reaches the bottom, she slowly drags her nails up his torso and around his neck, watching the deep red tracks appear, extracting a purr from him. Smiling at her success, she pulls him down and crashes her lips to his. 

The force in which he returns her kiss is unexpected, pure aggression and emotion, all teeth and tongue fighting for dominance, but she is not one to give up. He wraps his arms around her, drawing her as close as he can, pulling back only slightly when he feel a familiar sting in his mouth, followed the the metallic taste of blood. Oh how she knew him. He tries to flip her around, with no such luck, demon powers have the advantage, so he is left at her mercy.

Pulling back, Meg licks the traces of blood from her lips, and starts to unbuckle Castiel’s belt, wanting to ease some of the blatant pressure there. Trailing bite marks down his neck and chest, she settles for a nipple, licking and teasing until it becomes a firm nub, producing the most delicious sounds from this angelic being. Looking up through her lashes at him, he has his head thrown back against the stone, eyes closed and groaning. 

She trailed down Castiel’s body, fingers and teeth sinking into his flesh until she has her fingers grasping the hem of his slacks. She looks up once, meeting his sapphire eyes, and smiles as he closes them again. 

Pulling down the fabric, his hardened flesh springs free. Everything was about to go to hell, but right now, this seemed to be the perfect way to help him relax. Cas moans above her, the taste of his skin on her tongue, the feeling of his hands raking through her hair as she slowly licks her way down his swollen cock.

“Your so hot Castiel. That dick has no idea what he’s missing.” Meg breathes out, her tongue dancing around his shaft, swirling around his heated tip before sucking it deep into her throat, as far as it could go. Who needed a gag reflex anyway? Obscenely delightful noises were spilling from Castiel’s mouth - half formed words and moans that ended up caught in his throat.

Her fingers dug in his thighs, pressing his hips into the pillar behind, holding him still as she works her way down his cock, savouring the feeling and salty sweet taste. She moves slowly, speeding up the pace when his fingers tighten at the base of her skull.

“M...Meg! Fuck!” Cas gasps, his entire body stiffening. Meg makes no attempt to move, holding him perfectly still, lips wrapped securely around his shaft as he spills hot and hard down her throat. 

Castiel was shaking, his body being held up only by the pillar behind him, and the hands that were slowly dressing him. Meg takes her time pulling his clothing back into place, making sure everything is as it should be before returning back to standing. Cas grabs her neck and pulls her into him, fiercely kissing her, wanting to taste the remnants of himself mixed with her bittersweet flavour.   
“Well, that’s certainly one way to entertain ourselves.” he laughs as he sinks to the ground, pulling Meg into his lap.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean arrives to find Anna and Cas in a rather unsettling predicament. But surely there's a reason for this. - Mild Violence -

Less than an hour had passed when the sound of an engine could be heard a short distance away. Meg looked and Castiel and smirked, before turning around and taking position. Cas stays where he is, looking out of the window, fiddling with the knife in his hand. Within moments, the door above them is smashed open, and heavy boots can be heard on the floorboards. Anna stirs at the noise and tries screaming through the gag around her mouth, to no avail. The door to the darkened basement slowly creaks open, and the footsteps descend.

“Hello, Dean.” Cas clicks the lamp on the desk on, illuminating him. Dean drops the gun he is brandishing, frozen on the spot, staring at Cas with a look of pure horror and disbelief.

“I hoped you would find us here, and you were quicker than I anticipated.” He lifts his head to look at Dean, sapphire eyes locking onto emerald.“You see. I think it’s about time we talk.” Cas slowly moves around the room, steadily getting closer to Anna, never breaking eye contact.

“What the hell man?! This was YOU? Why?!” He looks from Cas to Anna at the side of the room, beaten, bound, and scared. He goes to move to her, but finds himself frozen, locked into place. He struggles against the invisible binds keeping him in place. 

“There’s no use trying to fight it Dean, you’re not going anywhere just yet. Like I said, we need to talk.” Cas continues to play with the knife in his hand, now standing behind Anna. His voice remains calm and casual, just like when he first came into Dean’s life all those years ago in that barn. It keeps Dean on edge. 

He’s changed throughout the past year it seems. His hair’s a little longer, but still meticulously cared for, but he has become slimmer. His shirt now hangs loose around his shoulders, his undershirt not gripping his muscular torso like it used to. Possibly from the lack of activity now that he no longer hunts, or maybe he finally kicked his fast food addiction. He still looks amazing though. . . Ok back to the situation at hand. Cas refocuses his attention when Dean starts talking again.

“Shit Cas, what’s this about? And how the fuck are you doing this? I know you can’t get your damn mojo back. . . “

“AND WHY IS THAT DEAN?!” Cas snaps at him. “Maybe it has something to do with me giving it up, becoming HUMAN, for you! You know, the life we had planned, this. . . pitiful human life!” With this, Cas runs the blade across Anna’s cheek, fresh blood running down her neck as she screams. Dean tenses up, wanting to move, but getting nowhere. 

“So what? . . This is just some temper tantrum because you don’t like how things turned out? You’re the one who left! I searched for you!” Dean growls back at Cas, eyes glossing over. This man standing across the room from him was not his Cas.

His angel would never do this, not to an innocent. Where has his humanity gone? This, right here in front of him, was nothing more than a soldier, just like when they first met. Not a care in the world other than taking orders. Something’s not right here. Cas had returned to his stone cold demeanour, glaring at Dean.

“I didn’t want to be found. I didn’t need you anymore. I meant so little to you, you obviously didn’t need me. So I found my own way. I found peace, and clarity.”

“So peace and clarity means you kidnap Anna? Great logic there.” he scoffs. “Why? To get back at me?! It’s been a damn year. I thought you were dead, so I moved on!” Dean struggles against his invisible bindings again.

“Obviously.”

Dean tries to turn his head to locate the new voice, as Meg casually walks past him, a devious smile upon her lips.

“Didn’t take long for you and little Miss No-Wings here to start bumping uglies. But hey, who am I to judge?” She reaches Anna and Cas, standing beside them, slightly in front of Cas, and flashes Dean her signature smile.

“Meg? Seriously? I should have known you Demon scum were a part of this. So what. . . They got your teddy bear or something?” snares Dean, locking eyes with Cas again, becoming more and more frustrated.

“You really think I’m making poor old Cassie here do this? I’m flattered, really, but no. He enlisted my help, and who was I to refuse? It was assistance I am more than happy to provide, especially since it’s all for you.” She moves forward and grabs Dean's’ chin, forcing him to focus on her. 

“I mean, you hurt my honey bee, so now I get to hurt you.” The enthusiasm in her eyes is enough to worry Dean, as she flashes her pearly whites in a huge grin.

“Enough Meg.” Cas warns. His eyes lock with Deans’, asserting dominance.

“As I keep saying, I want to talk with you. Explain how things are, since you haven’t a clue how your actions have affected everyone else.” His tone becomes casual, his body more relaxed. He knows that Dean has no control here, so why not take this opportunity?

“Let me tell you a story. The story of Castiel, the Angel of Thursday.” Cas goes back to fiddling with the knife in his hand, slowly wandering around the room.

“I was born into the crusade, the only life I knew. We kept peace among those on Earth, watching over them, helping them when necessary. Centuries I spent there, just sitting on the border between dimensions, listening to the prayers of Thursday's children. It was easy, it was my life. Then one day, not so long ago, I was rounded up, along with an array of others for a special mission. To ride into Hell and rescue the righteous man.” With this he looks to Dean. Meg had moved off towards the pillar in the centre of the room, listening intently.

“I’m sure you know a lot of what happened between Heaven and Hell after that. But then we fixed everything. Life was good, balance restored to Earth, just as it should be. My mission was over, for the most part, so I joined Sam and you in the bunker. I remember every minute of it as though it were happening right now. And I was happy, I was free. I remember our first conversation about our ‘bond’.” Cas emphasizes with air quotes. Dean lowers his eyes to the ground, knowing he’s not going to enjoy this tale.

“I remember you coming into my room one evening and sitting on the edge of my bed, something obviously bothering you. How you turned to look at me with an almost painful expression, trying to find the words needed, and failing. Our first kiss, how it wasn’t perfect, as described in childrens’ fairy tales. It was awkward and tense, and over all too quickly. I remember exactly how you smelled, exactly how you tasted, chilli fries and whiskey, and how chapped, yet soft your lips were. How desperate you were.”

Dean has his head down, his eyes closed, but fists clenched and twitching. Cas was almost disappointed that he couldn’t read his expression. He needs Dean to hear this, his view on the past, and if he doesn’t like it, well, that’s tough.

“Cas I - “ his voice cut off, unable to make a sound.

“Now now, Chuckles, this is listening time.” Meg sings to him, her face the picture of utter amusement. Cas looks over at her with annoyance as she shrugs and motions for him to continue.

“After that evening, we changed. As soon as my desires were returned by you, I knew that this was the life I wanted, and I couldn’t let you go. So I returned to Heaven. Gabriel had things running pretty smoothly, so I gave him my request. To take my grace, and scatter it throughout the different planes, so it couldn’t be retrieved. I gave up my entire being, to spend one fleeting, human lifetime with you.” Dean’s head was still down, but his shoulders started to shiver slightly, and droplets were falling to the floor in front of him.

“We had a life planned together Dean, and I know things changed. Sam left, and you couldn’t deal with it. You became an emotional wreck, what with all your abandonment issues and all. But I was always there for you. The amount of physical pain I suffered during that time. Not that I didn’t enjoy our amorous activities, I truly did, but you forget that I was newly human. I was no longer immortal, unbreakable. But I soldiered on, because you needed me, and I loved you. I would have done anything for you.” Cas stares at Dean, as Meg forces his head up to look back at him.

He was breaking. The pain and torment was clear in Dean's watery eyes.

“And then along came Anna. . .”


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel finally gets his point across, to show Dean just how serious he is about their relationship. 
> 
> Warnings - Minor Character Death - Possible triggers for some people - Somewhat Violence.

Darkness has fallen outside, and the moon leaves a puddle of light in the centre of the basement surrounding Dean. Anna, still bound to the chair at the side of the room, is whimpering, all hope gone from her. Even with Dean here to rescue her, he was at a disadvantage. Cas and Dean are in a battle of will, eyes locked, each waiting for the other to submit. Meg grows tired of the silence, and begins walking towards them, arms crossed, annoyed gaze drifting between the two, her heels clicking on the cold stone, bringing them both out of their trance.

“I don’t understand how things became like this Dean. We had everything we wanted. What I wanted at least. Our life was far from perfect, but as you said the day you proposed to me, things can't get any better, so long as we are together, because that’s all we need.”

Meg starts walking around Cas and Anna, bottle in hand, pouring liquid on the floor as she goes, not that Dean notices. Cas makes sure his attention is focused solely on him. After all, he is the one telling the story. He briefly looks to the knife in his hands, then back up to Dean with a peculiar expression. One that hasn’t been seen on the face of Castiel for many seasons.

“But needless to say, there is hope for us. With the help of Meg of course, I have devised a plan to repair our relationship of the damage you inflicted.” A look of hope and pride sweeps over his face as he looks longingly at Dean, never breaking eye contact. 

Confusion hits Dean, and he can’t help but be curious. How can this situation lead to any kind of reparation between them. Surely Cas understands that this has only made things worse. His attention is drawn back to reality when the blade Cas is playing with is stabbed into the top of the chair in which Anna is sitting.

“You see, that is why we are here after all. To fix everything.” He begins walking towards Dean, his knife left on the back of the chair. As he reaches Dean, he places a hand upon his cheek, taking full advantage of him being unable to move. He turns his head so he is looking Dean straight in the eyes before he continues. They really are the perfect shade of green.

“This is what you want, isn’t it? For us to be civil with each other, friends again at the very least?” His eyes flick over to Meg, and Dean feels the pressure lift from his chest. He’s still unable to move, but at least he has control of his voice again. Cas looks back at Dean, expectantly.

Dean is unsure if where this is leading, so decides to just go with his gut. Meg is still playing with Anna, taking great pleasure in the vast amount of scars she is causing, turning her into a doodle board. Consciousness has left her yet again, but he can see the pain she is in. He casts his eyes back to cas, who is still waiting for an answer.

“Of course. That’s all I’ve ever wanted since that night you left. I still don’t get how that ends up with us here. I mean, LOOK at her Cas! You and I both know that she can’t take much more of this.” Dean is pleading with him now, hoping beyond all hope that this will end well.

“I’m fully aware of her condition Dean, but that is rather a large part of the problem. One I wasn’t anticipating. It will be ok though. I can fix this. If there’s anything the past 12 months has taught me, it’s how to fix this whole situation.” Cas steps back from Dean at this point, trying to make him understand, no sympathy or reasoning in his tone.

Dean remains silent, as Cas turns around and walks back to Anna, stopping next to Meg.With his back still turned, he looks over his shoulder to Dean, a sinister shadow cast over his face.

“Just tell me you want us to be okay again, Dean. That you want to put all of this behind us.”

“I - I. . . “ His eyes meet with Anna's as she stirs, fear and pain spread throughout her gaze. How can Cas, his Castiel, be asking such a question. Everything he had done throughout their entire relationship was to keep Cas happy; to show him just how much he meant to him. How can he have forgotten what they had, and the promises he had made.

He looks back towards Cas, who was no longer looking at him, but fidgeting with something in the pocket of his beige trench coat. Dean can see no good way out of this. Whatever Cas has in mind, isn’t going to be changed. Anna was dying. If they allow her to leave, there’s little chance she’ll survive with the amount of blood she’s lost. Meg always did a thorough job. Meg is staring at him intently, a knowing grin on her face; mocking him. 

“You know I want you in my life Cas. I always will. But it - “

“That’s all I needed to hear, Dean.” Cas cut in. And with that, he walks to the back of Anna, pulling something out of his pocket - a box of matches, and lights one. With a final look at Dean, he drops it to the ground, flames engulfing Anna. He and Meg walk around Dean, heading towards the door without another look at Dean. As they reach the top of the steps, Meg looks back at Dean, and lets him free of his bindings.

Dean drops to his knees, tears falling down his face, as Anna whimpers in agony, not enough energy left in her to scream. The heat is blistering her skin, smoke filling her lungs claiming any life she has left. Frozen in utter shock, Dean can feel his heart breaking, knowing he is powerless to help. 

His Castiel, angel of the lord, keeper of bees; the kindest, most loyal being Dean has ever known, is no more. He has been corrupted, mutilated into whatever creature he is now. More than just human; humans don’t do this kind of thing; not to the ones they supposedly love anyway. Smoke is filling the room, the open high window being the only vent, yet Dean is unable to move from his spot as he’s watching Anna die, along with their unborn child.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of reminiscing never hurt anyone, right?
> 
> \-- Sorry this one is short, but wanted to get something up this evening. --

Smoke and soot were still billowing from the open window as the flames die down. Dawn is beginning to break as Dean exits the building, full of hot rage and determination, heading towards Baby. He knows what he wants to do, but can he bring himself to do it? He has just lost everyone because of Cas. Sam had left for college more than a year ago because he didn’t want to be around them after they got together. Cas then up and left one evening after finding him in a rather compromising position with Anna, giving him a chance to explain. And now he has taken away his final chance at happiness, his chance of a real family, one to call his own.

As he climbs into the car, he notices a sheet of paper folded under his wiper blade. With confusion, he reaches around the car to grab it, unfolding it. 

‘You know where to find me.’

That’s all that is written. It is obviously Cas’ cursive handwriting, but why would he want Dean to find him? Surely he understands what he has just done, and the response it would receive. But it seems not. It’s not like he wants this to happen, but what other choice did he have? He screws up the paper and throws it to the back seat, his mind a haze of confusion and mild concern. 

He scours his mind for any hint or clue as to where he could be. It’s been a year since Cas left, and now he expects him to be able to read his mind? A lot has happened in the past year, things changed, people changed. Time continues, life moves forward. Years of holding onto every bad memory destroys a man inside, so they only reasonable solution is to move forward and bury it, along with everything else. With everything coming up a blank, Dean starts the engine and drives, nowhere particular in mind, his music at max since there’s no one to complain now. 

It’s only a few hours before Dean turns into a hidden dirt track just off the highway. It seems familiar, quiet. Just up ahead he sees a wooden cabin, and realization hits him. This was his cabin. Bobby had given him the keys just before he passed, and he had been meaning to renovate it. It was a beautiful building, small yet spacious, expertly crafted from spruce and made to last. This was going to be their home, his and Cas’. Many weekends had been spent here, and they were going to move in here after they were married. 

Dean jumps out of the impala and walks around to the back of the building. There is a lake that covers most of the view, with the forest behind the far banks. It needs work, but even in this overgrown state, it’s beautiful, tranquil. There is a wooden dock that goes out about 15 foot into the lake, still with his chair and crate at the end. He walks towards it, remembering the loose boards as he goes, memories of his time here filling his mind.

He remembers sitting here every evening during the summer months, a cooler of beers on the crate next to him, Cas on his lap brushing his fingers lightly through his hair. Light, not there kisses being pressed to his temple, his cheek, down to the dip in his neck. Gentle, soft caresses, a show of affection and love. The sunsets, washing the sky in deep oranges and pinks, the silence broken only by the sound of the water and wildlife in the distance. He remembers the peace he felt, without a care in the world; how he could live the rest of his life just like this, and he would be happy. 

Dean sits in his chair, head in his hands, resting on his knees, looking out over the water. The silence is consuming, but gives him time to reflect. 

He thinks about the first time he brought Cas here. The look of pure joy on his face, how it reminded Cas of his favourite heaven. How he would sit and watch him walking around, inspecting the plants and insects, discovering all that it had to offer. He was like a child at Christmas, but didn’t get bored after a week. 

They’d had dinner out on the bank next the water, a picnic he had made up to surprise Cas with all his favourites; PB&J, Cheetos and Mountain Dew among the selection. This was their one year anniversary after all and fancy restaurants are not their scene. Cas had laid his trench coat down for them to sit on and watch the sunset together, fingers intertwined, Cas’ head on his shoulder. As darkness surrounded them Cas had started kissing his neck, his hand on his cheek, nothing more than soft touches. He turned his head to look at him, his lips immediately caught by Cas, as he was pushed back to lay on the grass, Cas climbing on top of him.

He wrapped his hand around Castiel’s neck, pulling him down to him, deepening the kiss with desperation and urgency, yet trying not to rush. Everything about Cas was perfect; the way his body melded perfectly with him, how their hands fitted perfectly together, just like their lips. Castiel pulled back up, straddling his hips, and looked longingly into his eyes; fanfiction green meeting the bluest of blues. There was nothing but respect, adoration, and happiness in him, and was willing returned in full by his Angel. 

Slowly, Cas started moving his hips, just tiny circles, enjoying the feel of him beneath him, proud of the noises he was making. Given his past, Castiel was always very good at torture, be it in pain or pleasure. Cas started unbuttoning his shirt while continuing his ministrations, gradually becoming faster, firmer, and achieving the desired effect on his face. Opening the shirt fully, Cas traced his fingertips across his chest, his nails grazing the small nubs of his nipples, eliciting a deep groan. Beneath him, he is solid, begging for release from the denim, and who was Cas to deny him? 

Unbuckling his belt, he lifts his hips to help remove his jeans, eagerly along with his boxer shorts. The look on Castiel’s face is unforgettable, eyes blown black with lust, tongue licking his lips subconsciously, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. Once the offending articles of clothing are gone, Cas wastes no time sinking down and taking his impressive length into his mouth. 

All thoughts leave his mind as he focuses on the warm, wet heat surrounding his unyielding cock. The sounds escaping his mouth were ineligible, but he was obviously doing something right. It took all of what little self control he had not to thrust up into Castiel’s throat, knowing he wouldn’t last long. It was over all too soon though, as Cas pulls back and sits up, pulling his t-shirt over his head. Within seconds their lips meet again, his tongue seeking the remnants of himself in Cas’ mouth. It takes some maneuvering, but finally they remove Castiel’s jeans without breaking their embrace, and he is pushed back onto the grass. 

Dean closes his eyes and leans forward, not wanting to think about how much he misses those times, especially now. He wants to hurt Cas, just like Cas had hurt him, but he also wants an explanation. He needs to know why. And he loves Cas. As much as it hurts to admit it, he knows that this is not the man he fell in love with. This is not his Angel. He is broken, and he knows that Cas needs him, to fix him, just like Cas had done for him so many times. But how can he forgive him after today?

Dean doesn’t know how long he has been sitting on the dock, but the sun tells him it's at least mid-morning. No use sitting around here when he has a mission. Even though he hasn’t hunted for years, he hasn’t lost his touch. He never though Cas would be his target though. As he turns to head back to his car, he sees movement through one of the windows of the cabin.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His secret hideaway doesn't seem to be so secret any more. 
> 
> Not much plot progression, but everyone needs a little filling in from time to time.
> 
> Warnings - Depictions of Violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I'm taking a little longer than planned in uploading this, but here you go. I hope to have the next chapter up within a couple of days, depending on work. 
> 
> As always, comments and feedback is appreciated xx

The curtain twitches again as Dean slowly walks towards the building, his hand reaching for his gun out of instinct. No one should be here. No one should know about this place. Pausing outside the front door, he listens. Footsteps on the floorboards prove someone is definitely inside. His gun at the ready, he turns the handle and pushes through the door.

Dust swirls around him in the rays of sunlight, as he opens the door, noticing it has been oiled. At least he gets a quiet entrance. Glancing down the hall, he walks into the first room, following his instincts as a hunter, scanning the perimeter. A single wooden chair is in the centre of the room, and behind it, Cas is leaning against the window ledge. Next to him is a length of rope, decent rope, not shabby twine like a lot of people use. His eyes meet the cyan blue of Cas’. He is relaxed, almost expectant.

“Hello, Dean.”

Nothing about his demeanour changes. He remains calm, innocent even, like nothing has happened between them. How is that possible? Everyone knows Castiel is a rather brilliant actor when he wants to be, but seriously. It’s like he hasn’t a clue what he has caused.

Rage flashes through Dean’s body as he lunges towards him, hitting the wall as Cas dodges out of the way. When he turns around, Cas is standing next to the chair, his hands up in surrender, face void of emotion. 

“I know why you are here Dean, and I will put my hands up, and surrender. I am at your mercy.” The is a slight hint of something in Castiel’s voice as he speaks, but Dean is unable to pinpoint exactly what it is.

Cas sits on the chair silently, and holds his arms out, wrists together, waiting.

Dean huffs, and chuckles a little at the scene in front of him. How have things come down to this? After everything, he really thinks this is going to work? Yes, he looks delectable like this, but that’s besides the point. He has a job to do.

“What? You really think I'm gonna let you get away with this? Submitting to me? Stand you coward!”

Obediently, Castiel stands. The second he is upright, a fist connects with his jaw, knocking him backwards. 

“You really think I'm going to take mercy on you?! After the shit you just pulled?!” 

Dean grabs the collar of Cas’ coat roughly, and pulls him flush against him, Castiel smiling as he does so.

“You think this is funny?! What the fuck happened to you?” He pushes him away, knocking him to the ground and grabs the rope from the window. 

“You think you’re clever, huh? That taking my FAMILY away from me would somehow lead to a positive outcome for you?”

Dean pulls Cas up and shoves him into the chair, binding his wrists to the arms. The entire time, Cas is looking at Dean, the way he always does, trying to gain eye contact. Once tied, Dean punches him in the jaw again, this time splitting his bottom lip. Malice has taken control of his body, any rational thought lost along the way. As blood starts trailing down his chin, another flurry of blows is delivered. Within less than a minute, Castiel’s face is red, both from blood and the impact of Dean’s fist, but not a sign of pain is shown by Cas. 

As Dean takes a breath, he looks towards Cas, bruised and bleeding. Damn this feels good, but he needs to take his time. There’s no use beating him to a pulp without getting the answers he requires. He turns around to gather himself, rubbing his hands down his face. 

“So is that all you have for me Dean? I must say I am disappointed. I would have thought Anna meant more to you.” There is still a smirk upon Castiel’s face, enjoyment even.

Another series of blows to the side of his head stops his speech, becoming more powerful with each connecting hit. Blood is dripping onto the floor, his face split in multiple places, swelling from the bruises. One final blow, and he is out like a light, head hanging forwards, body limp.

“Well well well, Chuckles. . . Happy now? Done with your little temper tantrum?” 

Dean turns to the sound of her sickly sweet voice, to see her leaning against the door frame. She smiles at him, slowly shaking her head.

“You really don’t get it, do you?” 

She starts walking across the room, heels clicking on the boards, stopping next to the lifeless form in the center. She places her hands on his shoulders and looks back to Dean, who moves back to lean on the same part of the window Cas had previously occupied. Running the back of her hand down Castiel’s cheek, she continues.

“He wanted this. He knew that you would come, and he knew that this would happen. Why do you think he made it so easy for you? You broke him Dean-o, and as much as I like this new version, you still destroyed my one. You know, the sweet, innocent Castiel, that would give up everything he had, if it would make the world a better place. The one who accepted people for who they were, faults and all.” She briefly looks at Cas with a glimmer of sadness in her eyes, then back up to Dean, her expression fierce.

She stares at him, her obsidian eyes drilling holes into his. He drops his gaze to look at Cas. He was starting to shiver, coming back to reality. If by himself or with the help of this demon bitch, Dean is unsure.

“Cas?” Dean says hesitantly.

His head slowly lifts, Meg breaking the binds around his wrists. When he meets Dean's’ eyes, he smiles weakly. 

“It’s ok Dean. I'm ok. I like the way it hurts.” Cas stands, rubbing the red marks around his wrists.

Dean's arm pulls back in reflex, about to swing for him again, when he looks into the deep blue eyes in front of him. There is no hatred or rage in them. There is an echo of pain, but mainly hope. No regret or remorse for his actions, no real sign of humanity. Hope and optimism, but for what, Dean doesn't know, but this is not his Castiel. His shell breaks as he stares into the soul of a broken man. Shimmering pools of innocence, and pain, and hope. His arms fall to his sides as his eyes glaze over. 

“Why?”

Cas looks up at Dean, wiping the drying blood from his face. He hates seeing him in this state, a broken husk of a man. His face is tear stained, pale and hollow. The bright emerald that once was, is now fading, the will to fight along with it. It takes all that Cas has not to go over to Dean, wrap his arms around him and give him the comfort that he craves. But he has a job to do. He can’t give in just yet. 

“Why what, Dean?” He enquires, trying his hardest to keep his voice level. “Why did I destroy Anna? Or why did I leave you in the building? Or perhaps, why did I invite you here?”

His voice starts to waver as Dean’s damaged soul looks into his own. Meg places her hand on his shoulder, giving him a sympathetic, yet encouraging squeeze.

“Why did you walk out last year?” His voice is barely audible, knowing that both can hear him, as he looks up from his feet, not sure if he wants to know the answer. 

Cas is taken aback by this. This is not how he thought things were going to go. He needs to maintain control of this situation, not get sidetracked. He owes him this much at least.

“You know why, Dean. Did you really think I was foolish enough to stay after I discovered the two of you?” Cas turns around, diverting his gaze to the door in the corner. 

“I could see I was no longer. . . necessary to you. It was clear that what we shared meant little to you, so why should I have stayed?” He starts to tremble from frustration, this being a conversation he doesn’t feel needs to be had, or one that he wants. He refuses to turn around and give Dean the satisfaction of seeing him like this.

“Is that really what you think? That you were just a tool? That I only kept you around because you were useful?” His voice was quiet, but becoming progressively louder, full of disappointment and anger. Surely he knows Dean well enough to understand that he doesn't work like that.

Dean stands upright, staring at Cas. He starts to move forward, towards Cas, as Meg steps in his path, arms crossed against her chest, shaking her head sternly. Cas turns back around, attempting to focus on everything but Dean, and failing. He looks distressed, confused.

“I loved you Cas. Obviously I never made that clear to you. That you would doubt me so much as to leave without so much as a damn goodbye. You didn't even let me explain!”

Rage starts to spread through Dean again, but he strives to keep calm. He knows that this isn't his fault. He is not to blame this time.

“Are you about to tell me Dean, that there is a perfectly logical, innocent reason for me finding you that evening? What possible explanation could you have for sticking your tongue down the back of her throat? Or for disrobing her, man-handling her? Because you sure as hell didn't seem to be hating it. You didn't even notice my presence.” Cas starts pacing the room, trying to maintain his composure. 

“Actually, I do.” Dean states, standing tall, filled with confidence. His fists marginally shaking is the only sign of weakness in him.

“Well, isn't that just wizard.” Meg claps her hands together, breaking the stare-down between the two. “Why don’t we all pull up a chair and have a good ol’ heart to heart. Coz I sure as hell have better things to be doing with my day.”

Both Dean and Cas glower at her, Cas being the first to speak.

“You can leave now, Meg. If I require your assistance again, I shall call. I will be fine.” His bearing softens a little as he catches her eyes, ensuring her that he will be in contact soon.

Meg steps over to Dean, grabbing her jacket from the ledge behind him, and leans forward into him, her lips a mere inch from his ear.

“You touch another hair on his pretty little head Dean, I will find you, and I will mutilate you. And I'm fairly sure you’re already acquainted with my little friend, Juliet.” She flashes her smile at Cas, and leaves the cabin.


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explanations and excuses are shared between Dean and Castiel, with a few little surprises. It takes more than a couple of words to regain trust and forgiveness.
> 
> \--I am sorry, I suck at summaries--

Dean walks to the side of the room and grabs the spare chair sitting in the corner, never breaking eye contact with Cas. He was circling the room at the same pace as Dean, maintaining the distance between them, unsure of whether to move closer. Dean drags the chair to the centre of the room and places it in front of the one already there, and sits down on it facing the back, his legs either side. 

“We gonna do this now or what? No point being here otherwise.” Dean seems motivated, and his confidence disturbs Castiel.

He looks at Dean warily, but edges towards the chair anyway, remaining silent, waiting for Dean to continue.

“Fine, I guess I’ll get the ball rolling. That night, a year ago, I haven’t a clue when you came home. All I know is that you weren't home when we got back, and never showed. I started to worry about you, but then I found the pie you left on the counter. That’s the only way I knew you had been there. Since you weren't around, I figured you left.”

He lifts his eyes from his hands, to Cas’ face, which is staring back at him with a look of either aggression or annoyance; he can’t tell which. In his mind, he knew why Cas had left, what he must have seen, but never had the chance to confirm it. Well, now was his chance.

“Anna came back from the grocery store that afternoon, pissed off, as per her fine self. She was going on about that creep who worked there that wouldn't leave her be. Apparently my novel suggestion of threatening him with a boyfriend didn’t work.” He explains to him casually.

“I remember her expressing her concerns about him. He was just a kid if I recall.” Cas cuts in. His efforts to remain composed are paying off, only slight muscle twitches breaking his facade. Dean deserves this chance to speak, at the very least.

“Damn right he was. Needed to grow the fuck up. So I suggested she show him some proof, since he wasn't buying it. We got the digital camera from Sam’s room and hooked it up to the laptop. We were just gonna take a few pictures for her cell that she could show him, if it came up again. Nothing explicit, just enough to get him to back the fuck off.” 

Deans’ voice starts to falter as he finishes the last sentence, now hearing his ‘solid’ explanation for himself. The look of sheer disgust on Castiel’s face was enough to make his stomach turn. 

“And that is supposed to make things alright? Acceptable?” Cas spat at him. “Is that the great explanation which makes your betrayal right? That everything would be forgiven now?” Gone was the calm, collected man he was trying so hard to maintain. This has to be some sort of joke, right? After all that they had been through, this was the scintillating excuse that destroyed it all?

Dean is stunned, only now understanding just how badly this has affected Cas. How this was his own doing, not Cas being, well, Cas.

“So then, Dean, tell me. What was the reason for not informing me of that, or asking my views on the matter? Did you not consider how I would feel about that?” Cas’ face starts to flush, burning hotter every minute, his voice filling with hostility.

“I, umm. . . We thought. . . You weren't home. We didn't think it would be such a big deal, you know, since this guy had been bugging her for so long. And there was nothing more to it than that, I swear. Then when you never came back, we went out looking for you Cas. We called the hospitals, checked the damn morgue. I was scared, I thought something had happened to you.”

Dean was grasping at straws now, not sure what he needed to say to make this right. He thought that if Cas knew what had happened, and why, then it would be fine. He would understand. Now though, even he barely understands himself. Why did he ever think this would be a good idea? 

“Well, that may be so, but how the hell do you explain the child?” This whispered sentence was the only response Cas had, staring avidly Dean's’ eyes, sheer resentment and bitterness laced through his voice.

Dean sits up straight, knowing that this is going to be harder to explain. He rubs the back of his neck and begins the only way he can think of. The look upon Castiel's face was one that should never be present on a face a graceful as his. The anguish and torment is evident, alongside the shadows of the damaged man beneath. This is harder on Cas, than it is him, so there really is no need to drag this out. This is going to end one of two ways, no matter what.

“A couple of months after you left, we gave up searching for you. We thought you were dead. I was broken without you, and Anna, well she tried her best to keep me together. So we started going out to bars. She wanted to start ‘living’ as she put it, but just wanted to keep my mind busy, so she went out to hook up with guys. And I must say, she was pretty damn good at it.” Dean smiles to himself at this, but it only lasts a second as Castiel scoffs at his remark, so he continues.

“One night I saw her leave with a guy. She seemed pretty happy, so I left her to it and headed back to the bunker. A couple hours later she calls me to come pick her up. She was at the hospital. The asshole that she left with had attacked her. She was battered and bruised, and scared to death, just like you had her.”

He looked up and saw Cas looking at him intently, hanging on to his every word. His expression was blank, except for the frown across his forehead, and he had given up trying to maintain their connection, his eyes glazed over.

“He’d had her tied up and beat her. Raped her. She managed to break free after he fell asleep.” Dean tries his hardest to make Castiel focus on him, on what he was saying, because after all, he had done the right thing. What any good friend would have done. Surely he understands that?

Cas is shocked. His demeanour doesn't change, but his mind flashes with the scenes Dean is describing. He starts to piece it all together, and it was hurting him. Guilt floods his entire being as a single tear falls from his eye and slowly down his cheek. Dean stands up so he is level with Cas, forcing him to pay attention.

“A couple weeks later, she found out she was pregnant, and being an ex- Angel of the lord, she wasn't about to destroy an innocent human life. So I helped her. You were long gone, and I had given up any hope of the family we dreamed of. I agreed to help her raise the child, as a family. She knew I had no interest in her, and I knew I wouldn't still be here if she wasn't around to keep me in line. I could've had it Cas, my own family. A normal life, just like we were planning.”

Their eyes met again, both seeing the pain and anguish in the other. Castiel understood now. He left, and because of that, they were left vulnerable. He had caused this. All the pain and suffering Dean had been through, and Anna at that, was because of him. If he had stayed, there would have been no reason for them to be going out every evening. Life would have continued, and nobody would end up getting hurt. Or killed. This was all his fault.

Cas gets up and walks towards the door with this revelation. His back is turned to Dean, anger flowing through his body. Dean is worried, he didn't want to ruin this. They are finally talking, and maybe, just maybe, they had a chance. A chance to fix this.

"Don't you dare leave Cas! Not now. Don't you even think about it. We need to do this, whether you like it or not." Dean starts moving towards him, as Cas turns his head to look over his shoulder back at him.

"What is it that you expect from me Dean? I'm not the person I was a year ago. I've changed, Dean, as have you, and I know I deserve nothing from you, not now." His voice was shattering, every cell in his body aching to collapse. After everything, Dean did not need to see him this way.

Another tear is making its way down the side of his face, as his body starts to tremor. Dean walks up to him and places a firm hold on his shoulder.

"I know Cas, but we need to get through this. You sure as hell ain't the same Angel you were a year ago, but that's my doing. No way I'm gonna be forgiving you for the shit you've pulled, but you need me. And I’ll be damned if I let you walk out of here without me. I need you, Cas, and I know we can figure this out. Like we always do. I just need you to at least try. To at least wanna try." Dean's' tone is full of determination, and desperation; his expression fierce. 

Cas turns around and stares into Dean's viridian eyes, conflicted. Why is Dean even here? After everything that has happened, shouldn't he be outraged? Surely he should be eradicating him right now, not pleading with him, begging him to work things out. How can he still trust him?

"I. . . I'm sorry, Dean"

With this, he breaks, Dean catching him, wrapping his arms around his limp form, and dropping them to their knees. His entire entity is shaking, the shell he has worked so hard to preserve shattering around him. This was supposed to be easy, simple. But nothing with Dean Winchester is ever so straightforward.

"It’s ok Cas. I've got you. Everything’s gonna be alright. I promise. I caused this, so I'm gonna fix it. We’re gonna be ok Cas. I just need you to trust me."


End file.
